[rest in power mother atlas.]

Family is important to me, this includes found family. My family dynamic is also different. My grandparents raised me since I was a baby, so I refer to them as Mom and Dad. My birth mother is in my life and I'm on good terms with my birth father. All this to say, what you'll find below was not easy for my to write.

On Monday morning, 2:37am, while hanging out with people after CoN, I received a text message from my Dad. My Mom had suffered a stroke and had brain bleeding. I quickly excused myself and left the hotel and called my Dad in the parking lot. My Uncle answered the phone. He told me that it's not looking good and that she was in a coma. I broke down crying on the curb for a while. When I walked back to the front of the hotel, Javo, Funkyard, and Gio were there. They could all tell from the look on my face, and I just broke down again. I stayed there for quite some time. 

As I tried to make sense and process everything, I had multiple people come up to me and check on me. It was difficult keeping my composure as I continued to explain what was happening. But I knew there wasn't anything I could do. Allister and Tabby were the last two people I stayed with that night, and Allister walked me back to my room, 4:30am at this point, urging me to get some rest so I could be with my family the next morning.

So I did just that, met up with other DFW homies a couple hours later, and got on my plane home. I rushed to the hospital to check on her. That's when I got all the news. The bleeding was irreversible, and she was not going to make it. She was in a coma and hooked to a ventilator and that's what was keeping her alive. I spent most of the day there, with the rest of my family. I was exhausted on so many levels. 

We were going to take her off the ventilator on Thursday so that an important family member could make it to us. Sadly, those plans did not work out. The next morning (Tuesday), as I'm getting ready to run some errands I was originally going to do that Monday, my uncle called me, telling me I need to get to the hospital. My girlfriend and I rushed to the hospital. When we got there, my uncle motioned me to a private room. They told me her condition got worse and she had no reflexes anymore, and once they took the ventilator off, she would likely be gone.

I don't remember much after that, besides me screaming and crying. I was devastated. Once the rest of my immediate family got to the hospital, we had the RTs take her off the vent and the nurses give her medication to make her comfortable. She passed away this morning (Thursday, 10/31).

Many who know me know how important my Mom is to me and my family. I call her Mom because she saw me come out the womb and was my guardian. She saw me through the entirety of my life, and having this happen right now and in this way, hurts. And while I've said my goodbyes and have come to terms with everything, I know I will be in a very odd place mentally for the next couple of months, if not longer. During this time, I had many people/closed groups that I told this to reach out to me with their love and support. It's hard for me to accept all the love and support. Many times, I don't believe I deserve it. Yet even still, I had people checking on me daily, making sure I was okay. And for that, I can't thank you all enough. 

I'll be around, and I'll reach out to those who said I can. I won't isolate myself and suffer through this without help. Mom wouldn't want that for me.

Love yall. And thank you.

[rest in power.]