[mask]

The world is such a difficult place to navigate. You're taught to be self sufficient and that things aren't done for you, yet you may turn around and have to realize you must do things for others, whether they care about you or not. You must put on a smile, regardless of the hardships you're experiencing. Whether you're happy or not. That smile must be a mask that hides whatever feelings you're feeling, and you must always keep it on, less you crack and show any emotion other than "happy". 

Whether right or wrong, you are always considered wrong. If you aren't meeting their needs and/or demands, you must do everything you can to meet it. You must do more. There's always more you can do. More more more more more more more. 

When can you crack? When are you allowed to be vulnerable. When no one is looking? With someone you trust? When do you say "Enough is enough. You can do this without me? Then do it without me." When do you do what's right for you, without ruining your life? Do you just say "fuck it" and take a leap, praying there will be something there to break your descent? Or do you put on the mask, put on an act, and slowly let it eat you from the inside, until you either become happy or content with your situation? 

I don't know the answer right now, but I'm told I have to figure it out now and even then, it won't fix everything right away. 

I'm not okay, and I want to be. I just have to put on this mask and act like I'm okay. I guess this is what it's come to. 

So be it.